Sunday, April 17, 2005

Mrs. K shakes her head. “It’s not just L,” she says. “He’s taken advantage of lots of grown women. With L it started off innocently enough.


At 7:38 AM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

Mrs. Katz shakes her head. “It’s not just Louise,” she says. “He’s taken advantage of lots of grown women. With Louise it started off innocently enough. She was taking classes with him. She told me how it happened. He started with simple physical contact, like playing footsie when they were studying. Well, at first she was shocked. But then she thought, hey, he’s a Rabbi. It must be all right. He doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s just a fun guy, a joker. Then he started sitting next to her on the couch in his office. Then he’d put an arm around her. He got her talking about her marriage and dug up all the things that dissatisfied her about her husband. He started about his marriage and how it wasn’t working.” She pauses. “And then, well, they became quite intimate. It took him almost a year but at the end of the year he had convinced her to throw her husband out of the house. She was sure he was going to leave his wife for her. Then one day she went to shul and saw that his wife was pregnant. She realized what a fool she’d been. That same day at shul there was another woman sitting beside her who blurted out, ‘I thought he didn’t love his wife,’ and this other woman turned almost green. Although Louise and this woman were practically strangers, Louise took her out in the hallway and started talking to her. She was sure something must have happened to this other woman and she was right. It was almost the same thing that had happened to her, in fact. This young woman came back to town after being in a girls’ seminary, she was just nineteen. She’d asked the Rabbi to organize a learning group. She turned up for the first session expecting a group of kids her age, and found the Rabbi. Well, she was flattered that he was willing to take the time to give her private lessons.”

(Primrose Path by Carol Matas, 1995)

Does the above quote sound familiar? Unfortunately it is. It's familiar to anyone who has ever dealt with rabbinic abuse.

At 8:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Women are partners in affairs. For those who believe women are intrinsically more faithful than men, current research shows that women engage in intercourse with multiple partners as readily as men when they have the freedom and opportunity.

A woman's sexuality has often been more feared than celebrated. In many cultures only women, not men, can be adulterers. Despite all the constraints and punishments, women have affairs.

Women are usually insightful about their affairs, knowing exactly why they wan a lover. Contemporary women areas sexually active outside their marriages as their foremothers, probably more so.

Surveys indicate that the percentage of women who have extramarital sex has increased during the last three decades. Not only has the number of women who have affairs increased, the age at which they have their first affair has decreased. In the 1950'sand 1960's, women had their first affair during their 30's and 40's. During the 1970's and 1980's, the highest rate of infidelity was among women between ages 26 and 30. Now, in the 1990's, women start affairs in their early 20's.

Why do women have affairs

Women have affairs for their own emotional gratification. They say their affairs enhance their self-esteem by giving them positive feedback, both physically and emotionally.

The women survey described their affairs as "fun," "casual," "a chance to know someone," or "just an affair." About 20% became involved in affairs just for sex. Dr. Ralph Meyering, Professor Emeritus at Illinois State University, notes "Married women seem to see extramarital sex as something quite different from sex with their husbands. In sex outside their marriages, women appear to feel freer to repudiate their repressions and explore their preferences."

Other reasons women have affairs include loneliness, the desire for adventure or experience, looking for a new husband or because their friends have affairs. Only 7% are retaliatory.

Top 7 Reasons Women Have Affairs

1. Improves self-esteem She enjoys the attention and compliments about her abilities as well as her body.
2. New and varied sexual experience She feels freer to experiment and explore with a lover than with her husband
3. Emotional connection she desires emotional closeness and intimacy
4. Loneliness she needs someone to talk with who will listen to her
5. Deeper understanding of self she learns from exploring her feelings and thoughts with someone who cares for her
6. Feel younger and sexier her lover's desire for her sexually makes her feel playful and free
7. fear of aging she is afraid getting older will eliminate her attractiveness to men

Women are not swept off their feet

Contrary to the romantic notion, women are not "swept off their feet" when they become involved in an affair. In fact women are thoughtful. A 1982 study by Lynn Atwater, Ph.D., indicates that half the women she surveyed knew their affair partner for several months before beginning the affair; the other half knew them for a year or more. On average, they considered having an affair for at least a month before it began and usually discussed the possibility with a friend.

When asked who initiated their affair, one-fourth of the women said they initiated it and half said it was mutual. Men unilaterally initiated fewer than one-fourth of the affairs.

Women are not consumed by romantic love

Women consider romance to be important in both marriage and affairs. However, over 80% say they care for their lover or consider him a friend but are not "in love" with him. Women seek emotional involvement in their affairs, but also limit the level of their feelings.

While sex occurs in most affairs, communication is a feature women value highly. Women want someone to talk to and confide in. Men are more verbally expressive with their lovers than with their wives.

Married Women Prefer Married Men

Married women tend to have affairs with married men - rather than with single men - for several reasons. Married women and married men have a similar amount of discretionary time available. While much of their time may be committed to their families, both can secretly take a few hours to be together during the day, in the evening or on the weekend. Married women believe married men will not become overly dependent on them, that they won't tell and that they are less likely to have a sexually transmitted disease.

Wives believe this type of relationship adds to the stability of their marriage. They also believe their married lovers will be faithful to them.

Working Women

Women who are employed full-time outside the home are more likely to have an affair than full-time homemakers. Travis and Sadd reported that 47% of wives who were employed full-time and 27% of full-time homemakers had been involved in an affair before they were 40 years old.

New Woman magazine found that 57% of employed wives who had an affair met their lover at work. The idea that women can subsidize an ailing marriage with an affair seldom works out. The contrast with a more caring relationship, in fact, makes the marriage unbearable.

Women are more likely to have sex during ovulation, but....

Women are more likely to have intercourse during ovulation with their lover but not with their husband. Bellis and Baker found that there was no pattern to women having sex with their steady partners, but that sex on the side peaked at the height of the women's monthly fertility cycles. Several evolutionary psychologists suggest that this willingness of a woman to mate with and bear children with a man other than her husband is a primitive biological drive to keep her gene pool diverse and healthier and to ensure the woman additional resources should her primary mate disappear.

The sexual drives women feel while they are ovulating can easily lead to unwanted pregnancy. U.S. News & World Report states, "Studies of blood typing show that as many as 1 out of every 10 babies born in North America is not the offspring of the mother's husband."

At 8:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

smokescreens, red herrings, blame the victim... can't you do anything other than attack others? And this, of course, from the hloier than thou don't speak loshan harah nick at KNH. Oh pardon, I forgot, that only applies to when someone says the truth about tendler and tries to protect the Jewish community. Yes it takes two, but in all too many cases one of the two was tendler.
tendlerites get a life! Let God decide about the women- you do your part and take out the trash (or as you refer to him, the "rav"). pathetic, pathetic, pathetic!

At 9:02 AM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

Why It's Not an Affair
Rev. Patricia L. Liberty
Rev. Liberty is the Executive Director of Associates in Education and Prevention in Pastoral Practice, PO Box 63, 44 Main Street, North Kingstown, RI 02852 401-295-0698

The issue of sexual contact between clergy and congregants is complex. Whenever a minister is exposed for such behavior the aftermath is traumatic for everyone involved. Churches feel betrayed, victims/survivors are marginalized and misunderstood and the families of all involved suffer greatly. This article is intended as an informational and educational forum to increase understanding about sexual contact between clergy and congregants.

Oftentimes sexual contact between clergy and congregants is dismissed as an "affair" between "consenting adults". This is a misnomer for several reasons. First, the relationship between a clergy person and his/her congregants is professional in nature. That means that clergy have a responsibility to use the special knowledge, skills and gifts of their call for the benefit of those they serve namely their congregants. It also means that clergy have a responsibility to establish healthy professional relationships. Because clergy carry moral and spiritual authority, as well as professional power it is ALWAYS their responsibility to maintain an appropriate professional boundary.

In practical terms this translates into clergy not pursuing or initiating sexual relationships with congregants (regardless of marital status of either party) and not responding to the sexual advances of congregants who may be interested in a relationship with their pastor. It also means that clergy will not engage in sexualized behavior with congregants. Sexualized behavior includes jokes, inappropriate touching, pornography, flirting, inappropriate gift giving, etc.

Since the ministerial relationship is professional in nature, it is inappropriate to call a sexual encounter an affair. Affair is a term used to describe a sexual liaison between peers, or equals. In addition, the term affair focuses attention on the sexual nature of the behavior rather than the professional violation. It also places equal responsibility for the behavior on the congregant. Since clergy have a responsibility to set and maintain appropriate boundaries, those who are violated by clergy's inappropriate sexual behavior are not to be blamed even if they initiated the contact.

This is a difficult concept for many people to grasp. We want to blame the congregant (usually but not always a woman) for the sexually inappropriate behavior of the minister (usually but not always a man). As tempting as this may be, it is wrong because it is always the responsibility of the minister to maintain the integrity of the ministerial relationship. The temptation to blame the congregant is also a reflection of the difficulty people have believing that a person who carries moral and spiritual authority, who is respected and trusted, can also be guilty of misusing the power and authority of the office. That denial and confusion causes tremendous damage to victims who need understanding and support as well as to churches that need clear, ethical, theological and faith based intervention to understand their betrayal. Blaming the congregant also means a failure to call the abusing pastor to genuine accountability. The focus needs to remain on the violation of the ministerial relationship.

The term "consenting adults" also reflects a misunderstanding of sexual behavior between clergy and congregants. It is assumed that because two people are adults that there is consent. In reality, consent is far more complex. In order for two people to give authentic consent to sexual activity there must be equal power. Clergy have more power because of the moral and spiritual authority of the office of pastor. In addition, education, community respect and public image add to the imbalance of power between a clergy person and a congregant. Finally clergy may have the additional power of psychological resources, especially when a congregant seeks pastoral care in the midst of personal or spiritual crisis, life change, illness or death of a loved one. This precludes the possibility of meaningful consent between a congregant and their pastor.

In our work with survivors of clergy abuse we often ask the question, "Would this have happened if he/she was your neighbor and not your pastor." Overwhelmingly the answer is "no". The witness of survivors underscores the truth that the clergy role carries with it a power and authority that make meaningful consent impossible.

When speaking of sexual contact between clergy and congregants, the term professional misconduct or sexual exploitation is more accurate. It keeps the emphasis on the professional relationship and the exploitative nature of sexual behavior rather than placing blame on the victim/survivor. "An affair between consenting adults" is never an appropriate term to use when describing sexual contact between a minister and congregant. Accurate naming of the behavior is an important step to reshaping our thinking about this troubling reality in the church, how we name it reveals our belief about it. Holding clergy accountable with compassion and purpose and providing healing resources to churches and survivors is dependent on an accurate starting point. Only when we name the behavior accurately can we hope to have a healing outcome for all involved.

At 9:09 AM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

see also:

It's not about men vs. women.

It's about a violation of professional boundaries by a member of the clergy that violates the moral and spiritual authority and power of their position. Husbands of these women were also victims of RMT.

In the article below the abuser was a female rabbi.
>It has now been almost five
>years since the beginning of my
>sexual exploitation by the woman
>who was my rabbi during the
>course of my conversion.

At 10:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On Cultic Relationships and Extreme Manipulation:

"About the People Who Get Involved:
Aren't the people who get into cults all wackos?
No...Although that would be comforting (because it would mean that you aren't personally vulnerable), it is not the case. The truth is, given the right circumstances, anyone is a potential victim.

How about battered women? Aren't they just weak or masochistic?
No. It isn't a matter of weakness; it is a matter of being human. Simply being human makes you vulnerable. They stay, not because they want to be beaten, but because they don't realize they have been manipulated into believing that they deserve to be beaten.

Not many people are really effected, though, are they?
Nothing could be further from the truth. If you put the statistics together, more than a quarter of the US population --- 1 out of 4 people --- will be directly effected by an extreme manipulator. Which is to say, since the statistics don't catch a lot of the subtler cases, the problem is actually much more prevalent than that. In addition, explosive actions can effect many more than that. Say, the events of 9-11-2001 or World War II for example.

How Does It All Happen:
Come one could manipulate me like that.
Um, sorry, but yes they could. Given the right circumstances, you will comply to even just everyday forms of manipulation. For example, when you do what you're asked just to, even though you don not want to, get out of an aversive or uncomfortable situation such as being nagged. Under the pressures and subtle maneuvering of a manipulator, you will not even realize what is going on.

Isn't this brainwashing?
Brainwashing is a very poor term. Other, better terms have been used, such as mind control or coercive persuasion, but the truth is that this is merely an extreme and destructive outgrowth of the same kind of manipulation we see everyday between people. I call it ultra-authority because it takes the normal aspects of authority to destructive extremes. This is also why it isn't spotted at its earliest stages...It looks so much like other, normal and benign aspects of life.

What makes this possible? Cults and battering relationships and totalitarian dictators?
Three main factors all working together. Your vulnerabilities, the tactics the manipulator uses, and time for the relationship to develop. These are the basis for my Integrated Model of Ultra-Authority.

Why does someone manipulate others like this?
Basically people begin to, and continue to, manipulate others out of two personality flaws. The first flaw is the habitual use of power over others to bolster and/or maintain a grandiose or inflated self-image. These people are often very insecure if they are forced to face a position without such power, and may act out in desperation. The second flaw is that of cruelty; there are those people who simply enjoy harming others. People who have both flaws...who are both cruel and who rely on self-image to bolster their ego (as opposed to a true, objective self-evaluation) are very much likely to manipulate others.

Can a manipulator change?
Certainly someone who has an honest desire to change, coupled with the fortitude to do the hard (and I do mean hard) work, can significantly change their attitudes and behavior patterns. This is especially true of those who have been victimized by manipulation themselves, and have learned to manipulate in order to maintain a sense of control and/or self-worth. Generally speaking, however, most of those people who are extreme manipulators will not be willing to do the necessary introspections and work. The reason they manipulate in the first place is often in order to create a shield so that they do not have to deal with aspects of themselves they do not wish to acknowledge.

About the Book:
What is People Who Play God about?
It's about how regular people can be caught up in highly manipulative relationships and groups, and more. The book also talks about how someone becomes an extreme manipulator, recovery from these experiences, and prevention and protection against extreme forms of manipulation.

Why did you write it?
Having been there myself, I found that there was a lack of a good, complete explanation of what happened to me available. So I researched and wrote.:-) If you'd like to find out more about this, go to the "About Beth" page.

At 10:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 11:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snowflakes and Survivors of Sexual Violence

Snowflakes are some of nature's most fragile things --
but look what they can do when the stick together

At 12:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

no one is covering up for Tendler, this discussion is post Tendler

We want these women out of the community, permanently and forever, immediately

they are homewreckers and violate everything we stand for and believe in, and we all find you truly offensive in attempting to portray as victims of anything.

Is that clear enough?

At 12:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok now I get it! it's a power and authority thing that removes all adult responsibility from these women.

mordechai tendler is a dime a dozen as a rabbi, but my husband truly is all that stands between his patients and the angel of death

so next year when I come home midday and find one of these women spreadeagled across my living room sofa with my husband, it is only because he is famous doctor and her mother needs therapy...this would be a new form of medical insurance, I guess...sort of pay as you go

perhaps you would suggest I extend true hachnosas orchim and have my daughter serve up some iced tea after the poor dear worked up such a sweat with my husband the authority figure...always one to help out the victims, you "sisters" in the feminist cause all assured me

I agree these women must be out of the shul, out of our homes and out of our community

APPALLED KNH Mother and Wife

At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still don't get all this Lashon Haroh on an innocent man.
First we had some accusations,but nobody went to a Beis Din to charge anybody.
The Gedolim of our generation said it's false and trumped up charges.
The Shule accepts him as their Rav.
The Beis Din from Israel claims the RCA should retract,or something like that.
So why does is bother anybody that he has not been found guilty?
Why try to take him down in an internet chat room,go to a Beis Din,otherwise it's pure Lashon Haroh,Motzei Shem Rah etc.

At 1:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Jewish Week article has blown JWB out of the water. For the first time, there are no rumors, innuendo, nonsense about DNA, etc etc.

I would urge EVERYONE HERE TO READ IT. It identifies all the characters in this ridiculous story. Although I dont know Rabbi Tendler, it would seem to me that this man has been terribly mistreated by anon bloggers like JWB and NHN. G-d help these people for their motzei shem ra. If they were smart, they would beg at his feat for forgiveness!!!!

At 3:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The truth hurts!!
Halachically speaking,all the women who admitted having an affair are prohibitted to their husbands.Excuses that somebody talked me into it,doesn't hold any basis in Halacha.
Blaming others is a national pastime,but doesn't change one iota of the fact they are Asur on their husbands if they admitted to an affair.

At 4:19 PM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

I'm getting tired of your "talking points".

Why don't they ask RMT to sign a waiver allowing his past lawyers to discuss the confidentiality agreement one victim signed for about $100K?

Why doesn't RMT sign a waiver allowing the alleged victim who was paid off to speak freely?

Why not ask RMT to sign a document giving permission to any alleged victims to take him to a civil court?

Oh, that's right they're not interested in the truth. Just muddying the names of your Shabtai Tzvi Rebbe's victims.

At 4:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Why not ask RMT to sign a document giving permission to any alleged victims to take him to a civil court?"

what for? why do the accusing women need a document for? if they have the proof, as they say they do, then drag RMT to court? unless...

At 4:32 PM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

>>"Why not ask RMT to sign a
>>document giving permission to
>>any alleged victims to take him
>>to a civil court?"
>what for? why do the accusing
>women need a document for? if
>they have the proof, as they say
>they do, then drag RMT to court?

Because I know and they know your game. If they go to civil court they'll be labelled mosers and accused of being in it for the money.

If RMT and his crackpot enablers believe they are so right and demand "due process", I dare them to either sue all these women and the RCA in civil court or give these women permission to initiate proceedings in a civil court.

Put up or shut up.

At 4:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are stupider than we thought..
the victim/m'naefes would also have to waive the confidentiality also; get her to sign first!

At 4:59 PM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

Moron, RMT could waive confidentiality 1st and then it's up to the victim to waive confidentiality.

That's the challenge, put up or shut up.

At 5:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The onus is on the accuser,they have to prove the guilt,not the other way around. The fact that they did not go to any beis din,shows you it's all lies.

At 5:12 PM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

>The onus is on the accuser,they
>have to prove the guilt,not the
>other way around. The fact that
>they did not go to any beis
>din,shows you it's all lies.

As usual, you're not willing to meet the simple challenge.

You're not interested in the truth, just muddying the names of your Shabtai Tzvi Rebbe's victims.

At 6:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would say,you are not interested in the truth. If you cared,you would go to a proper Beis Din,and would get the truth. Instead you spout lies and accusations with no proofs at all. Just some ladies who claim they can not control themselves and decide to blame someone else on their problems.

At 7:15 PM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

>I would say,you are not
>interested in the truth. If you
>cared,you would go to a proper
>Beis Din,and would get the

Like Rabbi Baruch Lanner and Rabbi Matis Weinberg's victims.

>Instead you spout lies and
>accusations with no proofs at
>all. Just some ladies who claim
>they can not control themselves
>and decide to blame someone else
>on their problems.

You are afraid of my challenge and the possibility of civil proceedings that you and the rest of the RMT goons can't manipulate and intimidate witnesses in.

At 8:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not afraid of any challenge. Again,you have to go to a Beis Din according to Halacha. If not,it's Motzei Shem Rah.
In truth,there are only a few women who are making up this story and decided to get back at MT. Most people already knkow the accusations are all false and the Shul backs him 100%, and that's what is bothering you. Your agenda is falling apart.

At 8:31 PM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

>I am not afraid of any
>challenge. Again,you have to go
>to a Beis Din according to
>Halacha. If not,it's Motzei Shem


If both parties agree to go to the civil court there is no problem.

>In truth,there are only a few
>women who are making up this
>story and decided to get back at
>MT. Most people already knkow
>the accusations are all false
>and the Shul backs him 100%, and
>that's what is bothering you.
>Your agenda is falling apart.

Me thinks you protest too much. Waive confidentiality on the payoff and give permission to alleged victims to go to civil court.

Why are you afraid?

For the same reason as RMT huge payoff?

At 12:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just tucked my adorable, loving husband to bed for the night before the workweek.

Like most of the men here, he is very successful, brought us great affluence we never imagined under the chuppa, and is a powerful public figure.

I agree with the other women's postings. The feminist supports of these women have declared 'open season' on my husband next. This year, they were attarcted to the Rabbi. Next year, it will be the Lawyer, then the Doctor.

These women cannot remain in my community or shul, and it is a disgrace that they receive support as 'victims'.

Cancel my membership in JOFA.

At 1:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, that 10 women number is a real flashing red warning light that we are now in the realm of urban legend and have long past the borders of fact, or even resonable insinuation.

These accusations are coming from Desperate Housewives on Hysterical Lane, Monsey

At 1:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you imagine any Rabbi in the universe ever wanting the shteller at KNH after Tendler?

Can you imagine any Rebbetzin agreeing to let her husband and family get within a barge-pole of these women?

At 1:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

10 women slept with your Rabbi??!!!!

Damn, NO WONDER half of Flatbush moved up to Monsey in the last few years.....the most excitement we get down here is a double kugel kiddush

At 3:59 AM, Blogger jewishwhistleblower said...

If you KNH loons have a beef with the alleged victims and the RCA why don't you demand RMT sue them all in civil court?

Oh that's right, truth is a complete defense to all the lies being told about the alleged victims and the RCA.

At 5:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's funny how JWB is squirming on his blog. Trying again and again to prove his false accusations.
His whole life seems to be coming apart now that he was proven wrong ,over and over,but he won't let up,simply because he won't admit failure.What a pity .

At 10:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHO is the "powerful public figure/lawyer" that the New Hempstead women want to sleep with?

At 11:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excuse me, these women are NOT alleged victims of anything, deserving of confidentiality or sympathy

They are admitted adulteresses. We accept their confession. Put them in cherem today!

The shul is not divided only on the issue of the Rabbi....many of us accept that some "conduct unbecoming the Rabbi" as the RCA put it, occurred. We accept their confession of adultery.

Now NEVER set foot in our synagogue again, or you will get the same public display we would give a man denying a Get. If you sit the women;s section for Pesach, expect a public humiliation beyond your wildest nightmare -- your feminist friends can't protect you in our shul anymore.

At 12:32 PM, Anonymous i.a.n.a.l. but said...

I heard from a prominent Orthodox rov that in the case of someone who is hurting people, it's ok to masir, if a beis din won't solve it. Why not go to a civil court now, and settle this once and for all? Establish his innocence or guilt once and for all and let the community move on from this debacle.

At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Kivi Schwartz said...

You know, JWB, it's really a big pity. The idea of this blog was great and could have served a constructive purpose for all of us "little guys" out here who really don't have much of an idea of what's really going on with our leadership. But you blew it and lost all credibility with your venomous ranting and ravings and open biases. Why in the world can't you just report what is going on and let's see how things will play out? It's your blog, and you're entitled to do what you want- but it's really such a waste of what was a great idea.

At 11:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excuse me, these women are NOT alleged victims of anything, deserving of confidentiality or sympathy

They are admitted adulteresses. We accept their confession. Put them in cherem today!

The shul is not divided only on the issue of the Rabbi....many of us accept that some "conduct unbecoming the Rabbi" as the RCA put it, occurred. We accept their confession of adultery.

Now NEVER set foot in our synagogue again, or you will get the same public display we would give a man denying a Get. If you sit the women;s section for Pesach, expect a public humiliation beyond your wildest nightmare -- your feminist friends can't protect you in our shul anymore

At 4:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my Hebrew is excellent, and having read the hachlatot, the beis din in Israel has backed the RCA on its finding that conduct unbecoming a rabbi was within its domain, and that no further activity is required INCLUDING any further complaint suggesting any wrongdoing by RMT.

The ONLY equation in which those two add up, despite the desperate spin doctoring of BOTH sides in this debate, is voluntary adultery.

The RCA had it right all along, and deserves everyone's apology.
These women were never victims of any kind, and RMT engaged in an activity (with at least one woman who stepped forward and voluntarily testified to a long standin relationship) in conduct unbecoming an orthodox rabbi, requiring his expulsion.

Both sides are wrong in their claims and spin. RMT is not innocent, and there never was any abuse.

You now have BOTH the RCA and the beis din in Israel proclaiming this.

As no one else here will admit to this basic fact, let me extend what will likely be the ONLY kol hakavod to Rabbis Billet, Herring Schwarts et al at the RCA who weeded through mounds of terrible testimonies and saw through the fact that all parties were lying.

Absolutely everyone in this sordid affair (literally) is guilty.

And now the beis din in Israel concurs with the RCA.

At 11:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not addressing Rabbi Tendler's role at all...perhaps I am the only one not addressing his role. He continues to deny his role and is entitled to whatever legal procedure is appropriate, to its conclusion.

I am addressing sitting next to women who have admitted to adultry with a man in the community. They are not denying their actions, and my skin crawls every time they sit down next to us in shul.

What is everyone waiting for regarding them? This isn't the outcome the Tendler enemies hoped for? Who cares?

It seems all of you are guilty on all sides, if I now understand properly, but the Rabbi is entitled to the benefit of the dwindling doubt until the end of the legal process. Not a woman who stands up and shouts she had an affair with my girlfriend's husband and then sits down next to my daughter in shul like some heroine!

And next year it will open season on my man? And the community should applaud her for this? Forget about it.

Appalled KNH Wife and Mother

At 4:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

so now we know from both the RCA and the most important beis din in the world that BOTH the Rabbi and his accusers have been lying to us all along and BOTH have played us for complete fools.

Meawhile, KNH has been turned into the laughingstock of all world jewry, except no one is laughing. We have been played for FOOLS by both sides who were each simply advancing their agendas at our expense!

At 9:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rediculous comment of the month award winner is:

in response to :"I am addressing sitting next to women who have admitted to adultry with a man in the community."

the winning rediculous remark of the month is: "There has been so such admission. Repeating the same lie over and over does not make it true."

So now you have the audacity to ask me to tell my girls that these women, in fact, are backtracking and now deny publicly and repeatedly admitting to the most vulgar forms of adultry ---for lengthy periods of time, mind you, not one fleeting indiscretion!!!!

I may be the ONLY one here actually from KNH. My husband and I paid enormous funds and tzedaka to build the shul, as well as time and effort, and now people are trying to backpeddle on admitted adultry to stay inside?

My skin crawls at the thought of thes harlots being permitted into shul. They have admitted to adultry. Where are the men in the community to do the right thing and enforce cherem? You are correct, there are 7 other shuls here -- they can go elsewhere. How dare some two-timing harlot suggest to me that MY FAMILY go elsewhere because she blabbed to the world that she slept (and a WHOLE lot more than that) with a girlfriend's husband.

Not how she expected things to turn out? tough cookies, slut.

TIme for us all to be much less Modern and much more Orthodox about this. Today.

At 9:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the bottom line, folks, is that we have all be had...both the beis din of Israel and the RCA have clearly concluded that both sides here ewre lying all along, for their own power motivations.

And we have been made into truly the fools of all Judaism by both sides.

For this I poured a fortune in this community as well as this shul. What a fool I was. What fools we have all been, financing and supporting both sets of liars.

At 10:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To clarify" RMT has been accused by women of having long term affairs with them -- while he is entitled to the legal process until either proven guilty or admitting guilt, these sluts have ADMITTED to acts requiring cherem. They cannot get a free pass simply because RMT denies it. They must be removed at once.

And NO ONE has stronger credentials at KNH than my husband and me. Make sure the door hits your rear end on the way out, slut. Don;t ever set foot in here again, because we aren't going anywhere -- no matter if Tendler is rabbi or not. Who cares anymore?

These harlots announced to all they slept with a girlfriends husband repeatedly (and some rather kinky) and then act surprise when its time to pay the piper? Now they are hiding behind Tendler's denial???? Wow. My head is spinning at that one.

Into cherem, sluts.

At 11:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am explicitly referring to the adultresses who claim to have had affairs with RMT. They slept with their girlfriend's husband by their own claim, and must be treated as the sluts that they are and banned into cherem forever from the shul and community.

If someone admits to a crime, and then claims to have had an accomplice, the purported accomplice is entitled to legal process if he denies it --but the admitting party goes straight to punishment.

These women have flaunted open affairs within the community with a girlfriend's (Michelle) husband. While RMT is entitled to due process, these women are now trying to backpeddle on what they said previsouly? Into cherem with the adulteress sluts!

When you want major donations for the shul you come knocking. Let's not be oblique, as you said. It's time to put my money to work within KNH and not permit someone in California or Manhattan to dictate proper policy in OUR shul.

Make sure the door hits you on thw way out, pal.

At 5:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


midwives to expectant mother: you want us to deliver your baby in your home? then lie about Tendler for us... ok, good.
Now, all those who disagree say "OBGYN".

gutten moed folks!


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